Heck Yes.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Hah. It's always weird to come back here after a long time.

Well, school's out again, another year of my high school career over.

That feels weird. Very.

This summer:
-Sevice Hours for two weeks of June.
-Children of Eden at Talent Machine
-New York!

Yes, that's right. I'm busy. Far different from the days i remember where i used to come on here and write because i had nothing better to do. Because then i was 15 and now....I'm pretty much...16! It sounds so old to me.

So this year i got straight A's for the first time, made new friends, got my first lead, auditioned for something out of my bubble of comfort, started looking at colleges, got in touch with my feminine side a bit more, and really just seemed to...figure out who i am a little more....and feels like so much more. I think this year has been the best so far. It seems like things just keep getting better. I hope I didn't just jinx myself.

So I've been out of school for about 9 days so far, and i spent 3 of those days at Allie's. I feel like today is my last day of lounging around though. Tomarrow i have a dentist appointment, and then I'm off to start the busiest summer I've ever had. The summer of the future! I have my interview for Partners in Care on friday, which i will be doing for service hours. I'll do that as much as humanly possible so i can get as many hours as i can since i currently have a whopping 4 hours. I'll find time to squeeze in seeing Karissa's show as well. And hopefully sometime this month I will get to meet my new little sister! I'm so excited. I also hope to get my Learner's Permit my this month, but i don't know if that's actually going to happen.

Then, July 5th, things start getting really busy. Rehearsals start for Children of Eden. I have rehearsal everyday of July starting the 5th, no exceptions, not one day off. Then I have 8 shows packed into the first two weeks of August. Somewhere in there I will become officially sixteen. Looks like no big bash for me.

Then I'll be free of Children of Eden and have the last two weeks of August to have as much fun as possible before the, most likely, hardest school year of my life. But I think we've already planned the best way to spend it....New York! Me, Allie, and possibly Karissa and Colleen are all gonna try and go to New York at the same time to go shopping, see Wicked on Broadway, and visit colleges, and generally just enjoy the wonder that is New York City. I can't wait to just be in Manhattan! I want to visit NYU, Fordham, St. Johns, Manhattanville, and possibly others. And it would just be awesomely awesome to have all of my closest friends with me in the Big Apple! It may be too good to be true, but i can dream.

Then it's back to business. And shaking in my boots in fear of junior year.

In the Fall, i hope to start voice and piano lessons since I've pretty much decided I want to be a choir teacher. That means a music major, how cool is that. I also want to take driver's ed so i can finally get my liscense. And, if by some miracle i have spare time, maybe find dance lessons with a concentration on musical theatre. I might also want to get a tutor for the SATs around this time, seeing as it pretty much decides my entire future and whatnot. I also want to audition for Curley's fall play. Shouldn't be too hard. But all of these piled on top of each other plus the toughest classes yet and the pressure of the year that determines my furture=very hard. We'll see I guess.

The Spring--it sounds so far away. But this year, i already know i want to do both IND's musical and Curley's. That should be fun. All in all wrapping up to a grand total of 4 productions throughout my sixteenth year of life.I hope that works out. Then, it's the dreaded SATs and more college talk. I don't even want to think about that really.

It sounds weird, but there's my goals for the year, for the big sixteen. I hope i make it good. It is supposed to be the peak of teenage life. I'm sure I'll feel like a true teenager with all that crap going on. And I really wonder how different I'll be at this time next year, and if I'll look back in another year looking at me now and being embarrased or feeling stupid or something. You know? Yeah, well, anyway, i just wanted to write all that up for myself, so that hopefully in a year or so, I'll come back and see how i did and see how different I as a person will be. The ccool thing about this is that I know no one reads this. I just like having this record of my life.

See you later, i guess.

-Caitlin



Sunday, February 20, 2005

I'm in the mood...in the modd to do a SURVEY!

LAYER ONE:
--Spell your name with band names.
Crap you!
AC/DC
I dunno
TBS
Led Zeppelin
Indigo Girls (sounds like it's a band doesn't it?)
Nirvana (the only one of these i actually listen to, unless you count the occasional Immigrant Song, which doesn't count, haha)

LAYER TWO:
-- Name: Caitlin
-- Birth date: July 19 1989
-- Nickname: don't have one
-- Current Location: Maryland
-- Eye Color: brown
-- Hair Color: dark brown
-- Righty or Lefty: Righty
-- Zodiac Sign: cancer

LAYER THREE:
-- The shoes you wore today: chucks
-- Your weakness: uh...yelling at me? i cave when people yell.
-- Your fears: tornados...yeah...
-- Your perfect pizza: pepperoni and sausage
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: to make it in New York, find whatever it is i'm supposed to do, break away from the boring lives of my family, etc.

LAYER FOUR:
-- Your most overused phrase on AIM: oh
-- Your thoughts when you first wake up: anger...haha
-- Your best physical feature: I'm not sure
-- Your bedtime: depends on how tired i am. I'm usually in bed by 11 though.
-- Most missed memory: um...i dunno

LAYER FIVE:
-- Pepsi or Coke: coke
-- McDonald's or Burger King: Burger King
-- Adidas or Nike: hm...i don't wear either
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: I don't really like tea
-- Chocolate or Vanilla: chocolate
-- Cappuccino or coffee: uh...cappuccino i guess

LAYER SIX:
-- Smoke: no
-- Cuss: yes
-- Sing: yes
-- Take a shower everyday: no
-- Have a crush(es): no
-- Do you think you've been in love: no
-- Want to go to college: yes
-- Like(d) high school: yes
-- Want to get married: yes
-- Believe in yourself: yes
-- Get motion sickness: yes
-- Think you're attractive: sometimes
-- Think you're a health freak: no
-- Get along with your parents: yes
-- Play an instrument: guitar and clarinet

LAYER SEVEN:In the past month...
-- Drank alcohol: no
-- Smoked: no
-- Done a drug: no
-- Had Sex: no
-- Made Out: no
-- Gone to the mall: yes
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: no...but a lot
-- Eaten Sushi: no
-- Been on stage: yes
-- Been dumped: no
-- Gone skating: yes actually
-- Made homemade cookies: yes...well actually...not in the past month...two months ago
-- Gone Skinny Dipping: no
-- Dyed your hair: no
-- Stolen anything: no

(a note from me: this section should really be change to 'have you ever'. it makes things more interesting, haha.)

LAYER EIGHT:Ever...
-- Played a game that required removal of clothing: no...i watched one...but no one actually did anything...especially since their parents were upstairs haha
-- If so, was it mixed company: ^
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: no
-- Been caught "doing something": no
-- Been called a tease:no
-- Been beaten up: no...unless you count allie hitting me all the time...and that white trash girl who kept pushing us all and chasing us screaming "you got beef with me" at halloween...and the crazy girl at the mall...but she didn't beat us up because some guy was holding her back...haha
-- Shoplifted: no
-- Changed who you were to fit in: when i was little...but not since like, 8th grade

LAYER NINE:
-- Age you hope to be married: i dunno...but i don't wanna be really old...that sucks
-- Numbers and Names of Children: wow...i dunno...but i always say it's either none or 2.
-- Describe your Dream Wedding: uh...outside. that's all i know.
-- Where you want to go to college: NYU, but i'll never get in there.
-- What country would you most like to visit: ireland. japan too. tokyo looks cool.

LAYER TEN--opposite sex:
-- Best eye color: um...green...or brown...or blue...haha...i dont care
-- Best hair color: brown
-- Short or long hair: long
-- Height: uh..taller than me
-- Best weight: um...not fat?
-- Best articles of clothing: a shirt. or something. haha.

LAYER ELEVEN:
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: uh..4
-- Number of CDs that I own: i only listen to like...12
-- Number of piercings: 2
-- Number of tattoos: 0
-- Number of cars your family owns: 4...2 crappy and falling apart, 1 good, 1 really nice

Sunday, February 06, 2005

Wow. Hello again.

I haven't written in...exactly four months.

Well, I'm not entirely sure why i stopped writing. Something about school stunts my will to do anything and i ever wantt o do in my spare time is lay around and play the Sims. And whenever i come here, to my old journal things, it makes me think of glorious last summer and then I'm sad that it's not summer.

I've also come to the conclusion of how stupid online journals are because they're not reallly journals. You can't write what you really feel in them because people read them sometimes. I have another journal i wirte that it. But it's all very modern and emo and stupid iand i sometimes found myself being ashamed i had one because the majority of people who have them are dumbasses. But it was summer, and i was so bored i think i would have died. But god was being bored great...

Anyway, just stopping by and saying hi, even though no one read this. It's more like saying hi to myself. I like the idea of there being a record of my thoughts and feelings, etc.

Maybe I'll come back this summer...

-Caitlin


Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Hey. Last weekend was good fun. And can you believe it, Welcome to the Dollhouse was on late that night! oh that's such a weird and wonderful movie...another one of the 'late night weird movie hall of fame'....along with The Howling and Secretary...heh...and a few other ones...that i don't remember...gr...anyway:

Yesterday (monday): i was all tired but i ended up staying up until 12:30 for some reason...i wa slistening to music and watching the ravens game and i didn't feel like going to school, and i was kinda sick, so maybe i was hoping that if i stay up late i'll feel like shit in the morning and get to stay home...meh

Today (tuesday): didn't work. I got up at like 7, got dressed in like five minutes and went to school. damn. And then after school today me and my mom went to get a dress for Ring/Pin dance...it's pretty...it goes with my chucks too, which is the most important thing...it's black with layers and pink ribbon on the bottom and around my waist...and the top is like a halter top, how it goes aroung your neck, y'know what i'm saying...yeah...and again my mom tried to get me to buy bew chucks...i really don't think she can comprehend that coolest thing about chucks is that they're old and dirty...gr...it's all about the memories..yo...haha

Tomarrow (wednesday): taking the PLAN standardized test...meh...but no classes and we're grtting out at noon...

Thursday: uh...school...and..nothing

Friday: Ring/Pin day...we go in the morning and meet up with out big sisters and then go to the chapel for the pin ceremony...and get our pins...yeah...then Allie's mom suggested that i come over to Allie's house and we can go to the dance togther which is handy...thanks Allie's mom...haha...so i'll go to her house after school and we'll chilllll and get ready and such and then go to the dance together....and then we'll...go to the dance...haha...and then i'll go home i guess....actually...i don't know how i'm getting home...shit...

-Caitlin

Friday, October 01, 2004

Friday. Yessss. Heck yes that is.

Anyway....doing stuff this weekend...

Today (Friday): Went to school, stayed after to school until 3:30 to work on a project and wrestle with Allie, went home, called Karissa and figured out how to get her over here tomarrow, went to my guitar lesson, came home, walked around the neighborhood with a coke and a cookie with my mom screaming "Tori" because i was bored and was looking for her, found tori, played soccer with her and some three year old, went to blockbuster with her and her mom, went back to her house and watched Mean Girls (god i hope girls aren't really that mean...i wouldn't know since me and my friends aren't girls...hahaha), then i went home, and came here!

Tomarrow (Sattatay): Go babysitting at 9am in the fucking morning (ugh), go home, Karissa comes over at 5ish, go to Goodwill, play guitars, Colleen comes over at 7ish, she takes a shower because she was at a game and then we all go to Guitar Center, then we come home and hang out and play guitars and play the sims and watch stupid movies. fun fun

Sunday: A day of rest. hahah. i shall rest on the sabbath day....god is the way...hahahhaha....(me and allie sing our own religious songs as we pack our books...that is just one of many many...hah)

no homework this weekend too. awwww score. And then i have testing wednesday of next week...the PLAN, ACT prep test or somehting...meh...and then Ring/Pin day and dance is Friday! i guess i should get a dress or something...but they said they might cancel the dance because not enough people bought enough tickets, but i think a lot of people bought them today so we shall see....

yeah.

bye.

-Caitlin

Saturday, September 25, 2004

happiness.

1. Got the Sims 2...which i've been playing non-stop...hah, i stayed up til 5am yesterday playing it

2. Learned all of Serve the Servants...yessss...i can now officially play a fairly respectable solo...i was playing in my uniform skirt yesterday but with a normal shirt, it looked funny, so i call it "shredding in a skirt"...even though i can't really shred all that well...and i hate skirts...haha

3. Went to the new GUITAR CENTER which is friggin awesome...got a free t-shirt too....that's the best guitar store i've ever been in...even though i've only been in like three others...haha...there were a lot of girls there, but none of them were actually playing which made me sad, i was the only one i saw playing (besides the acoustic section...what is it with girls and acoustics? Allie loves acoustics...i don't really. nothing against them. But i'd rather buy a new electric than an acoustic) My brother said it's because most girls can't shred (and everyone there was, very awesome) which is true for the most part, because i can't, my friends can't, unless you count me and karissa's mediocre finger tapping skills. haha. Serve the Servants and finger tapping is as good as it gets for me. That's all i played there, because i just felt like playing simple songs or power chords there would be wrong, i didn't see one person playing a power chord. Probably because everyone who was their were 'hardcore' guitarists since they bothered to wait in a line all the way down the strip to get into the grand opening of a guitar store. pretty cool. They had an Elvis impersonator there. and a band. yeah. It was cool. I almost bought a guitar, it was pretty nice, normally about 400ish but it was on sale for like 100...awesome...but i didn't...the only reason i wanted it is because it didn't have a floyd rose, and i'm getting sick of mine. I wanted a bass too for me and karissa so we can make bass parts and play bass with stuff...but they were all too expensive...meh, that's alright, karissa has an eye on aa used one at Bill's so yeah...to sum this up: I like Guitar Center.

That's what i've been doing. I'm going to my cousin's birthday party today too, which i don't mind, because it got me off babysitting. score.

-Caitlin

Sunday, September 19, 2004

I'm off tomarrow. Aw score. So Karissa's gonna walk over here or something after school and jam with me...haha. woo hoo. And i can't wait for that boxset. I think i'm annoying my dad talking about it so much. And the Sims 2 is out, and i want that too, something to do...beisdes homework...meh...i hope i have enough money for those two things...the boxset will probably be pretty expensive...my hair is all greasy but i don't feel like taking a shower...i don't even know if i'm gonna shower for karissa or not...haha...i should...haven't showered since thursday...mwahhaha....I love myself better than you, I know it's wrong, so what should I do? don't know where that came from. I was just listening to that though...so i guess that's where it came from. yeah. I hate school, but most of all I HATE GEOMETRY! Geometry should BURN IN HELL. I've always hated math but this class is horrible. I think the teacher is most of it, but gah, i miss Mr. Vasold, i would be doing so much better in this class if he was teaching me. I'm dropping out of school because of Geometry. haha...okay...maybe not...but i'll threaten to do it constantly just because i can. If i drop out, then i can just focus on guitar and listen to music all day, and no one will be expecting anything from me anymore and the pressures off. haha. But...even though a lot of famous people are high school dropouts...so are a lot of homeless people...haha. meh. i'm bored. which is why i'm writing in here. notice i have written in a while. that's because of school, stupid fuck. gr.

-Caitlin

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